first published on December 4, 2019 by Funker
They say that individuality has no place in the Army, but when you’re on a dismounted patrol in a global hotspot and your life is in the hands of the man or woman next to you, you find out quickly that soldiers are truly unique in how they conduct business, and sometimes those differences aren’t comforting.
Task and Purpose recently uploaded this one-man skit parody of the different types of soldiers you’ll see outside the wire, which includes: The High Speed, The Scared One, The Officer, and The Brand New Private.
If you’ve ever been on a patrol yourself, you’ll start thinking of some other personalities you’ve encountered out there. Here are a couple types I’ve experienced.
The Complacent One: This troop may be in one of the unfriendliest neighborhoods in the sector, but instead of being vigilant, he’s staring at his feet the entire time. As his squad leader you correct him every 50 meters or so, but his gaze will always drift back to the ground. Even when his head is up, he’s not actually assessing the situation. He’s thinking about chow, his girl back home, and that pass he dropped back in high school.
The Unofficial Explosives Expert: This soldier voluntarily carries six frags, an AT-4, C-4 with det cord and blasting caps, and a claymore that he dreams of mounting to the front of his Stryker vehicle. He will not miss an opportunity to use any of them. AK fire rips through the patrol and he’s hucking ‘nades over compound walls. A sniper round zips overhead and he’s letting that AT-4 loose at the nearest mosque minaret. This guy is a walking liability, but when things get kinetic, you’re glad he’s there.
What types of personalities have you experienced on dismounted patrol?